Happy Birthday, America!

I feel that it's only appropriate to share a story from my favorite July 4th celebration.

It was 10 years ago today that we made our way through the gates of Lakewood Amphitheater to embark on the second night of a two night run that Phish was playing in HOTlanta. If anyone was there you know how hot it really was. I think I drank about 6 bottled waters before we even made it inside of the venue. Maybe it was also due to the "Bart Simpson" prints I ate on lot...maybe not, though. As we took our seats about 16 rows Page Side it all started to get out of hand. Mind you, this was still over a half hour away from showtime and my vision was as fragmented as shattered stained glass. Moments before the band took the stage I was approached by a cute and fast talking girl from Rhode Island and she began telling me my shirt was on fire. It wasn't really and I can only assume she had indulged in the same Bart Simpson prints as I beforehand. After a few minutes of talking to one another she went on to tell me that this particular night was her 10th Phish show. This was also my 10th Phish show and I found that strikingly odd that out of the 16,000 plus people there I would be sitting next to this cutie and watching the greatest band on Earth. It wasn't long after we exchanged our first words that she told me she was doing the whole tour(as was I) and that she was also doing tour with her two sisters. Thinking to myself, "If they're as cute as her this could be awesome". She had been "miracle'd" her ticket and was fortunate enough to get an unbelievably good seat. Page Side was always where I sat...mostly. I've probably done well over 90% of my shows Page Side and with good reason. If you don't understand, well, you just wouldn't understand. The formalities were out of the way, the band was taking the stage, and I'll be damned if the first notes of "My Soul" were being played she starts stripping down. Hey, I was OK with this as she was a little hottie. What better way to see/hear the greatest band touring than to dance your ass off with a naked New England chick(the real party girls)? After "My Soul" ended she leaned over and told me, "they're gonna play 'Ya Mar' this set". Low and behold, the second song of the set is "Ya Mar". It was bliss. Maybe it was the great L or maybe it was just idiosyncrasy but we went back and forth calling song after song in order as they were played. Well, all except for "FEFY" and "Meatstick"(who can ever really call a "Meatstick, though). This night, my 10th Phish show, was definitely one of my most memorable of the 130 I've seen to date. It will forever be etched in my memory and still remains as one of the Top 15 I've ever seen outside of a festival. This day of independence, our nation's birthday, and the freedom that Phish's music gave me(and still to this day does), will not soon be forgotten.

To commemorate this glorious holiday here is a link of that show for download. Do yourself a favor and give it a listen.


07/04/99 Lakewood Amphitheater, Atlanta, GA

Set I: My Soul, Ya Mar, Farmhouse, The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony> AC/DC Bag, The Wedge, Vultures, I Didn't Know, Fast Enough For You, David Bowie

Set II: Ghost> Slave to the Traffic Light, The Horse> Silent in the Morning, What's the Use, Wilson, Mike's Song> Sleeping Monkey> Weekapaug Groove

Set III: Carini, Meatstick

Encore: The Star Spangled Banner


Part 1: http://www.mediafire.com/?4nn4tmmyilm
Part 2: http://www.mediafire.com/?ceohhciymdj
Part 3: http://www.mediafire.com/?akumg49yzvw
Part 4: http://www.mediafire.com/?owcktddimmd

Chaos Is the Great Divide

Continuous and new, there are many things in life that confuse me. Profound thoughts that swim in the ways of my perplexed state are the only things that drive me to understand the things I don't. The simplicity of most of the "headlines" that flash through my mind is the genius that I can't seem to get a grasp of. Like, why do people act the way they do? Is it innate or is it a progressive construction of one's personality and character? I tend to lean toward the latter because assuming that people are the way they are is due to a "predetermined" plan just seems ridiculous to me. I know everyone has their own personal philosophies and I respect them all, well, to an extent. But, philosophies and opinions are the exact same thing no matter how you want to dissect it. Do I think mine are always right? Absolutely! I mean, who the hell wants to admit their opinion is the wrong one? Nobody.

In a world of opinions there is no right or wrong. But, in existing reality there has to be a right and a wrong or everything would just unravel at the seams and chaos would eventually ensue. Collective chaos is what bothers me, though. Much like every other topic that streams through my brain; I have a few philosophies on *chaos*. A couple of them I refer to as "collective chaos" and "controlled chaos".

To me collective chaos is the joining of something to make the surroundings unbearable or unlivable which can be seen around the world. Primarily in world order of armed forces but also in your own town, on your own street, and hell, even in your own house. Collective chaos, in my humble opinion, is the blight that dominates the root, the stem, and eventually the growth of our situation....whatever that may be. Controlled chaos is the happenings of many different things that seem like they're spiraling out of control and all of the sudden fall into place leaving you thinking, "Wow, that turned out to be the best thing that could have happened in that particular situation".

I'm going to shift in terms of music because it's actually much easier to convey it in this way. In music there is something used in improvisational jazz that is called "tension and release". Let me break it down for those who are unfamiliar. In lamans terms, tension and release is when you're listening to something and it just sounds like each person or instrument is doing something totally opposite from the next. Not really melding together as a singular unit but rather phrasing each note to purposely sound different. All the while the goal is to, at some point, join together simultaneously making the music sound like it had never taken a different direction.

So, back to my point, controlled chaos is when you think everything is going wrong but all of the sudden things start falling into place as if the previous happenings were merely a build up for something great. Now, of course I'm partial to controlled chaos, if I had to pick from the two. I mean, who would really want collective chaos and nothing working out in the long run? Not to get too political but I think you can look at the efforts of our military struggles and directly blame it on collective chaos. Maybe it's the trouble in your own town, street, or home that is your particular struggle. Whatever the case, life is about struggle and sacrifice. As much as I would love to say we will someday live in world of peace and harmony it's never going to happen. And, I don't say that in a cynical or pessimistic way...it's just a life truth. Since the first days of man there has been struggle which leads to sacrifice. In any circumstance of chaos take a look at what the initial reason was and almost one-hundred percent of the time I will guarantee you it came from someone's ego. Egos are what have torn civilization apart from days of the Egyptians, Greeks, Mayans, Romans, and now definitely Western civilization. On a smaller scale, egos destroy the very fabric of any relationship, whether it be in business or your home life. In essence, the only way to stop the demise of any relationship is to essentially know when to show humility and not be afraid to admit when you're wrong. And yes, that can be done without compromising your personal philosophies.